Grief of Losing a Mother Pamela Dowell Author

Grief of losing a mother is something I never thought would affect me as deeply as it did. When my grandparents, aunts, and uncles passed away, it hurt a lot, and I had to learn how to deal with it. Then my dad died, and that pain was heavy too — but I still had my mom to help me through it. She was the one who steadied me, the one who understood how to hold my hurt without me having to explain it.

Losing her was different. It wasn’t just losing a parent — it was losing the person who helped me survive every other loss. The one who knew my heart, my fears, my strengths, and my weaknesses. The one who made the world feel safe. When she was gone, it felt like the ground shifted under me. I didn’t just lose my mom… I lost my anchor, my comfort, and the person who always helped me find my way back to myself.

Losing my mom to an auto accident and getting the phone call telling me she was gone was the worst moment of my life. I remember screaming that it couldn’t be true. But nothing prepared me for the silence that followed — no more phone calls, no more visits, no more hearing her voice.

My mom and I spent six to eight hours a day together, and we talked on the phone ten to twelve times the rest of the day. She wasn’t just my mother — she was my best friend, my supporter, my encourager, and the one person who believed in everything I did. She was the heart and soul of my world.

When she died, everything went quiet. I felt alone in a way I had never felt before. The hurt was so deep that I kept looking at the phone, waiting for it to ring. I wanted to go see her, to talk to her, to hear her voice again… but I knew she was gone.

It has been eighteen months, and I still miss her just as much as I did that day. But I also know she is in heaven, happy and whole. I feel her near me, checking on me, watching over me.

So don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t miss your mom or that you should “let the grief go.” Grief is love — and when you love someone that deeply, it doesn’t disappear overnight.

Mom, I love you and I miss you. My time to join you isn’t here yet, but I carry you with me every day.

Pamela Dowell Author